True Beauty...

I want to start by saying I aim to look as beautiful, hot and sexy on the outside as I feel on the inside... but first I must make it all about what is truly on the inside to create true and lasting beauty. 

As a woman in the 21^st century it can be very easy to think that external beauty will get you love, everything you want and solve all of your problems.  We often hold in our mind a self constructed image of the woman we want to be like who is “ideal”.  She has complete inner peace, a great personality with no drama, all men want her and she gets the good jobs while somehow naturally having a great body without any hard work.  We compare ourselves to this imaginary “ideal” woman and she is a constant reminder of what we think we should look or be like but never seem to be able to achieve it.  We either strive to be her with obsessive focus on yoyo diets, beauty treatments or plastic surgery.  Or on the other hand some throw in the towel and stick it up her for putting so much pressure on them and totally let go in an act of rebellion.  Regardless, we think that one day when we look like that life will be complete and we will be “there”... you know that place?  Where you have reached the pinnacle of your life, everything is absolutely perfect.  You have reached enlightenment with all deep issues resolved; your body, relationship, health and career are all perfect with nothing left to work on?  It is possible right??  Come on girls, let's get real....

 

To be honest it is tiring just writing about it and don’t get me wrong I do believe anything realistic is possible but when did we decide to put so much pressure on ourselves? I mean, not always but the majority of the time, without some serious plastic surgery and a complete makeover that would cost an absolute fortune, the imaginary “ideal” woman hardly ever looks like what is realistic for us.  Deep in our hearts we know what is the unique expression of us yet choose to focus on this “ideal” woman who is the bain or our existence and we become our own biggest critic.  So who is to blame for this ideal?  Is it magazines, movies, television, school yard bullying, the hot chick at school or family pressure?  That’s what society says is the issue and whose fault it is right?  They say it’s because of all the skinny, tanned, perfect models and Hollywood stars that are to blame for the negative body image epidemic causing eating disorders and low self esteem?  It seems like the logical answer, however is blaming something else an empowering perspective that will get you what you want in life?

You are responsible but it’s not your fault...

The mind is a powerful thing and the avoidance of responsibility and blaming external circumstances for a situation can often be the very thing that keeps a person stuck in an unwanted position in life.  With the time and energy it takes to point the finger, complain and make excuses, a person could have written down some goals, gone for a gym session and taken numerous constructive actions toward a desired outcome.  Spending valuable energy coming up with all the reasons why you haven’t or why you can’t perpetuates feelings of helplessness.  It diminishes self confidence disempowering yourself by not keeping your promises or sticking to your goals.   Is an inability to succeed or accept yourself wholly really the fault of the media, models, friends, parents, past or that there is not enough time in a day?  You have the power to choose to focus on blame or spend your energy moving forward in life.  All things in life are a choice including your perception of the world.  Do you blame the world or are you responsible for your thoughts, feeling, emotions, actions, non actions and outcomes in life?  All is perfect and wherever you are is right where you are meant to be.

We live in the real world right?  So in saying all this I want to express that I do agree due to external factors there can be social pressure to be a certain way, do certain things and have certain things in life.  It’s what you make it mean that counts.  Also, having a positive outlook doesn’t take away the fact of life that there can be nasty people out there who may say things about others, their body and image that may hurt.  Yes, these people are projecting their opinions onto others... but you DO NOT need to take it on as your truth and feel free to remove these people from your life.  Let go of the ideal of traditional perfection....There will be times you have setbacks, make excuses, blame others and compare yourself as you are only human.  It is up to you to catch yourself out doing this, own it, learn from it and turn it around.  You decide in every moment what results you want and what you make things mean.

“When the voice and vision on the inside are more clear, profound and loud than the opinions on the outside you have mastered your life” Dr John De Martini

Consider for a moment how it feels to be able to love your body and life as it is while working toward your own personal ideal shape, size and lifestyle?  Some of you may be completely content with your life (I haven't met anyone yet who is totally happy with absolutely everything).  For those who want some change, feel the sense of self satisfaction knowing you reached your ideal weight or dress size?  How does it look? What do you say to yourself? How is it to be wearing your clothes and hair as a unique expression of your own personal taste?  What if you could create a special relationship of your own based on a deep soul connection with physical attraction as a bonus?  Imagine creating your dream career?  Were you to release all expectations based on external pressures, opinions and reasons what is it that you would truly decide to create for yourself?  It is said that people who set intrinsic (internal) goals based on their true values and aspirations are the ones who not only reach their goals, they sustain them long term.  And those who do not listen to external opinions that drag them down but make their own internal self talk and decisions are more likely to achieve lasting results.  Based on this, you can strive for anything you choose and especially to look the way you want.  Be sure to set goals that will stretch you and reaffirm that you can achieve above and beyond anything you thought you ever could.  Sometimes when you set a goal and are forging a new habit it can feel unnatural and not in alignment with your true values due to the fact that change often brings up limiting thoughts, resistance, self doubt and the revelation of all the excuses you may have been making.  Seeking help and mentoring through this period can be invaluable and provide accountability.  By making a shift in your mindset while taking congruent inspired action you will achieve things you never originally thought possible.

You are perfect, enough, lovable, worthy and accepted just the way are...

In closing I want to share with you the most important aspect of beauty.  Inner beauty is the thing that the important people in your life will always remember about you.  It is the thing that most often causes authentic attraction and shines the light of happiness into the world.  It is your genuine inspiration, confidence and sense of purpose that has the largest impact and makes the biggest difference in the lives of others.  Physical beauty is important if it is important to you and always remember it’s a fact of life that the physical fades yet your inner beauty only increases with age and wisdom.  Be sure to invest just as much time nurturing your mind, spirit and soul.  Always know that loving all aspects of yourself is an ongoing journey and you are magnificent, beautiful and divinely perfect just the way you are.  Believe in yourself and what may seem impossible can be possible.  I promise someone else has done it before and you are never alone.  Shifting your thinking or behaviour is completely up to you and the only promise I make to you is that following your heart and living by your own true values will be an ongoing choice that comes with setbacks and success and will be a process that continues for the rest of your life.  You will at times have to work hard for it.  I’m not saying it will be easy but I am saying it will be worth it... because you are!!