Friendship & Love...

Faith in Destiny..

 

Sometimes in life it is easy to think that true friendship and love should look a certain way, take a certain amount of time to develop and there must be particular things that occur before a connection can be labelled friendship or love.  But I find myself remembering the innocence of youth where I would listen to the inner feelings and knowing that sometimes in life there are people who for no explanation at all, within an instant we simply deeply care for and know they are meant to be in our lives.  It is not about words, behaviour or a verbal agreement that is made... It is about a deep sense of knowing that is based on complete acceptance and no attachment or expectation that words could not describe.  It just is!

 

As a young child we embraced this certainty in a moment of decisiveness that forges instant best friends and lasting bonds that leave an imprint of memories in our minds and a warm glow in our hearts.  Our purity, connection to the intuitive soul and fearless ability to love and accept puts a whole new perspective on the term ‘love like you have never been hurt’. 

 

Children fight, argue and disagree over many things but somehow have an innate ability to forgive and forget.  They confidently express their true emotions while within an instant gracefully moving from laughter, to tears then to a vivacious state of playfulness in the everyday flow of life.  This is simply considered normal.  They naturally trust in the universal order while living in the moment, never questioning their deep feelings for people and the world.  There is a genuine inner set point of contentment and happiness they easily revert back to that regardless of the situation, always supersedes drama, setbacks and unfulfilled expectations.  It is like there truly is nothing missing and you are invincible... you just know you are loved, it is a given!

 

As time goes by, things occur and there are setbacks in life that start to dampen the inner glow of the heart.  Trust in love at first sight, wearing your heart on your sleeve, deep knowing and intuition has caused you to be vulnerable, get hurt and at times suffer deep feelings of pain and loss.   We begin to become aware of the harsh reality of life that involves accumulated past trauma, broken hearts or what can be the most painful of all... losing loved ones through death.  In a desperate attempt to avoid this pain again, we begin to wrap our hearts in iron and steel to protect from future let downs or loss.  We try to cover our pain and just get on with things, slowly shifting the childlike inner set point of contentment and happiness to one of rejection, hurt, resentment, revenge, blame and disconnection or sometimes even ice cold nothingness.  Intuition, love at first sight and serendipity become a thing of the past and are masked by  self fulfilling prophecies, a need for control and a keeping of people at arm’s length just in case they were to leave, betray your trust or die. 

 

We begin to make people jump through hoops before we allow them into our lives, we push people away when they love or care about us or we avoid opportunities for fear of failing and messing it all up again.  Instant connection, intuition and trust can be seen as something to be feared rather than being a gift from the universe and a blessing that destiny has to offer.  The heart that was worn on the sleeve is now behind lock and key only to be opened to those who can stick around long enough and pass the almost impossible tests of the scarred gate keeper. 

 

Self expression becomes self monitoring and analysing due to thoughts that we may not be lovable or accepted if we say or do things that we have been shut down over or have caused drama or failure in the past.  We think we have to be a certain way and follow certain rules to be accepted or loved by another.  Playing hard to get drives a wedge between you, deep connection and makes you feel like nobody ever ‘gets’ you. 

 

The inner child deep inside is screaming out to be released and be able to come back out to play.  The inner craving and deep desire for love and connection from friends, family and romantic partners although suppressed at times, is the driving force of the human race and gives us a sense of validity and purpose.  No matter how hard we try to hide from it, the innocent child is still very much alive and part of who we are and our connection to the divine order was never lost.  The desire to express one’s self as we truly are and still be loved and accepted is innate in all of us.  Our past, present and future cannot be changed and is part of the sum total of the magnificent person you are.  Guarding your heart serves a purpose and those who truly care about you will have patience, persistence and be faced with their own challenges finding the key but always know that your unlocking is also part of their unlocking.  Everything happens for a reason and no matter how the situation seems, every connections is showing us something about ourselves.  We see things not as they are but as we are!

 

In growth and learning, we are often somewhat like an artichoke.  The artichoke starts out as a seed.  A soft little bud forms and as each layer grows it gets tougher and tougher to protect the inner layers.  Then comes along people who really love artichokes and are willing to peel away the hard layers and do what it takes to get to the softness on the inside.  The outside layers can be quite tough but they have the patience to peel away the layers one at a time, sometimes they try to force it, other times they are gentle but their persistence pays off eventually revealing the beautiful soft inner layers of who you really are.  Peeling away the layers to reveal the softness of one’s soul can be confronting and challenging but also worth it.  Your true friends, no matter how confronting, will stand by you, learning their own lessons and working through their own layers simultaneously revealing at times ugliness and other times beauty.  While always knowing this balance is the key to true friendship and love. That perfection is in appreciating the full spectrum of another person’s experience without judgement but with compassion and understanding. 

 

The people who deserve you are the ones who stick around no matter how hard you make them work or how long you make them wait... and those who love you will do all that and are also most likely the most impatient because the inner child that trusts and loves instantly knows on a soul level you are part of their destiny.  And making destiny wait and withholding love can be excruciating!  But these people will endure regardless...

 

Some people will come into our lives for a reason leaving their mark, giving us a lesson and then they will move on; some will come into our lives for a season preparing us and teaching each other to be the kind of people we need to be for those who come into our experience for a lifetime.  Let’s not be attached to how things look but be in touch with what we deep down inside truly, without question know!  Have faith in the inner child, love at first sight and trust in the divine order, your intuition and the beautiful concept of destiny!

You just read this for a reason...

With Love

Anna xx